The Story of an Old Order Mennonite Girl

Circle Letters: The Story of an Old Order Mennonite Girl - A Memoir by Aleta M. Schrock

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Empty. Fullness.

Sometimes when I think I have come to the end of myself, I discover that it takes coming to the end daily. When I come to the end, I realize that I have once again become full and empty in all the wrong ways. Fullness of self equals emptiness of Life. Period. But emptiness of self can equal Fullness of Life. There is a choice involved.

I need emptying and filling. Emptying daily. Refilling daily. There is no refilling without emptying. There are many kinds of emptying. Emptying by pouring out to others. Necessary. But I am referring to emptying of self. Self loves self and needs emptying. Daily. Hourly. Sometimes minutely. Emptying can occur through the word “No”. Or “Yes”. Depending on the circumstances. But at the end of the day emptying needs quietness. Time alone. With God. Emptying. Sometimes: Tears. Sighs. Deep breaths. Total emptiness. Then comes the choice.

Empty is a space that needs filling. Emptiness not filled with intent will find itself filled with self. Empty begs fullness. I choose fullness with Christ. Time. Quietness. Word. Worship. Song. Communion. Rest. Peace. Joy. Love.

Fullness takes intention… Daily. Hourly. Sometimes minutely. …to become habitual. Habitual Fullness becomes normal, customary, typical, ordinary, natural. Fullness (of Christ) becomes as natural as breathing. As natural as the beating of my heart.

I choose fullness. I am full. Filled. Filled with the Righteousness of God in Christ Jesus. His Righteousness cleanses (empties) me from self. For me to Live is Fullness. Fullness of Christ. Without his Righteousness, I am empty. Not the emptiness of self that I seek, but emptiness of Life. Therefore, with His Fullness. I am filled. The I Am fills me and I am the Righteousness of God. Thus. I Live. Righteous. Blessed. Full. Yet empty. In all the right ways.

These are two Words I will strive to live by this year. Empty… of self. Fullness… Being filled with the Righteousness of God in Christ.

I enjoy dictionaries.
Definitions from the online Merriam-Webster Dictionary/Thesaurus:

1 emp·ty, adj.
Definition of EMPTY
1a : containing nothing <empty shelves>
b : not occupied or inhabited <an empty building>
d : not pregnant <empty heifer>
e : null 4a <the empty set>
2a : lacking reality, substance, meaning, or value : hollow <an empty pleasure>
b : destitute of effect or force <an empty threat>
c : devoid of sense : foolish
3: hungry
4a : idle <empty hours>
b : having no purpose or result : useless
5: marked by the absence of human life, activity, or comfort <an empty silence>

2 empty, verb
emp·tied  emp·ty·ing
Definition of EMPTY
transitive verb
1a : to make empty : remove the contents of <empty a purse>
b : deprive, divest <a phrase emptied of all meaning>
c : to discharge (itself) of contents
d : to fire (a repeating firearm) until empty
2: to remove from what holds or encloses
intransitive verb
1: to become empty <the theater emptied quickly>
2: to discharge contents <the river empties into the ocean>

3 empty, noun
Plural: emp·ties
Definition of EMPTY
1: something (as a bottle or can) that is empty
2: lacking contents that could or should be present <the refrigerator is empty, so we'll have to eat out>

adj \ˈfu̇l also ˈfəl\
Definition of FULL
1: containing as much or as many as is possible or normal <a bin full of corn>
2a : complete especially in detail, number, or duration <a full report> <gone a full hour> <my full share>
b : lacking restraint, check, or qualification <full retreat> <full support>
c : having all distinguishing characteristics : enjoying all authorized rights and privileges <full member> <full professor>
d : not lacking in any essential : perfect <in full control of your senses>
e (1) : completely occupied by runners <came to bat with the bases full> (2) : having three balls and two strikes <a full count>
3a : being at the highest or greatest degree : maximum <full speed> <full strength>
b : being at the height of development <full bloom>
c : being a full moon : completely illuminated <the moon is full tonight>
4: rounded in outline <a full figure>
5a : possessing or containing a great number or amount —used with of <a room full of pictures> <full of hope>
b : having an abundance of material especially in the form of gathered, pleated, or flared parts <a full skirt>
c : rich in experience <a full life>
6a : satisfied especially with food or drink
b : large enough to satisfy <a full meal>
7archaic : completely weary
8: having both parents in common <full sisters>
9: having volume or depth of sound <full tones>
10: completely occupied especially with a thought or plan <full of his own concerns>
11: possessing a rich or pronounced quality <a food of full flavor>

Synonym Discussion of FULL
full, complete, plenary, replete mean containing all that is wanted or needed or possible. full implies the presence or inclusion of everything that is wanted or required by something or that can be held, contained, or attained by it <a full schedule>. complete applies when all that is needed is present <a complete picture of the situation>. plenary adds to complete the implication of fullness without qualification <given plenary power>. replete implies being filled to the brim or to satiety <replete with delightful details>.

Related to FULLNESS


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